Jared read my first two posts and said, “I’m the black sheep of this family! I was barely mentioned!” – Well be careful what you wish for dear. By the way, Happy May Day! I’m not really sure what that is. I vaguely remember getting a basket with stuff in it when I was in elementary school. Kelly Rippa just said it’s also “Lei Day” in Hawaii. This makes more sense to me. Anyway….
In August, Jared and I will have been married for 5 years and together a decade. A DECADE – We’re already more successful than 90% of Hollywood! Nothing has changed our lives and marriage more than having Quinn. Before I continue, let me make one thing clear: We wouldn’t trade Q for anything in the entire world! He is the ying to our yang (possible inappropriate Asian joke). The hamburger to our french fries. The Louis to our Vuitton – ok, Jared might not like that example. But you get the picture.
When you’ve been together as long as we have it’s hard not to get into the routine of everyday life. And then you add a kid to the mix and it changes everything. For some people, becoming parents means that your kid(s) become your life. Your everything. Your top priority. And I agree… to a point. For Jared and I, we choose to put our marriage and ourselves on the priority list next to Quinn and being parents. We think it’s important to make time to go to a happy hour, have nights out and go on vacations. Again, we’re lucky. We have grandparents who live 10 and 30 minutes away who are more than willing to help make those things happen. Not everyone has this option. But I’ve realized it’s other things too.
I never want Jared to look at me and think, “I remember when I used to be attracted to Beth.” Granted, the short skirts and tube tops of yesteryear have now been replaced with a tasteful tank top and cardigan – HOT. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If he’s not getting it from you, he’s getting it from someone else” – I know this is in reference to sex but I think it applies to attention as a whole. We fully admit we miss getting hit on. Some people might think this is horrible but I think it means we aren’t dead inside. When we were dating, I rejected this notion. But now, I’m positive we both secretly think, “Thank God I haven’t COMPLETELY lost it!” if/when it does happen. I think it’s important to ask each other things like, “Are you happy?” Some people might get offended by this question but for us, asking it means we want to be aware of what’s going on in our marriage.
There are a few things I’ve come to accept. Date nights will never be the same. Now they consist of dinner and drinks (2-3 to be exact on a “good night”) and sleeping before Saturday Night Live comes on. Long gone are the days of sleeping till noon, getting Chinese take-out and taking an afternoon nap to mask your hangover. The last place we want to be is The Hub (you know you’re getting old when you say to your spouse or friends “The music is SO loud!”). Vacations or weekends away usually consist of us actively trying not to talk about Quinn the entire time, especially if we’re with friends (Note: Your friends don’t care that your kid is the cutest kid to ever live). And that “feeling” we had of excitement during the dating years will never come back. It’s ok to miss what you used to have and miss your footloose and fancy free lifestyle before you added “Mr. I Hate Sleeping and Love Talking Back”.
I’m not sure I have a point to this post. It’s just my random thoughts for the day. But I’ll end saying this: I hope every woman is as lucky as I am. I married my best-friend and the man of my dreams
Adam Levine, Jared Wells (kidding… kind of)! All joking aside it’s the truth. The guy makes me laugh. We have fun together. Even when we’re dog tired and sitting at dinner not saying a word to each other. He’s the best daddy – It’s probably something I don’t tell him enough. Quinn has inherited his rhythm, facial expressions, love of 80’s rock/90’s rap and basketball. And I wouldn’t have it any other way… except maybe the rhythm part. Jared, don’t say I never said anything nice about you.
PS – I just read this out loud to Jared. He said, “You kind of jumped all over the board. Maybe try not being so serious next time.” Back off ladies. He’s all mine….