I couldn’t have taken a better picture of Q to sum up the title of this post. I didn’t plan to write another entry right away but I’ve decided to use this blog as free therapy.  Which I am in desperate need of…. We started to notice a shift in Q’s attitude about 2 months ago. Some call it the “Terrible 2’s” but I just call it “annoying”. He’s learned to be defiant. Example – he started to stand and jump on our couch. I could see this was going to lead to flailing head first onto the hardwood floors. So we started to implement “no, no”. When saying this, he looked right at us and pointed the tip of his foot as close to the edge of the couch as he could and looked me dead in the eyes as if to say, “Don’t tell me what to do woman!” If he is doing something he isn’t supposed to and we use “no, no” he just turns around and says it back. It’s ineffective.

He has also started to throw tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants, when he wants it. This behavior could drive me to drink on a daily basis. The only thing that stops me is thinking about the massive hangovers/headaches I’d have at 6am when my kid wakes me up and doesn’t understand, “Shhhhh…. mommy doesn’t feel good.” Luckily, we’ve avoided these meltdowns in public.

The biggest hurdle for us has been sleep. Q has slept through the night since the 5-6 month mark and generally loved nap and bedtime. If he wasn’t tired, he’d just talk to himself until he fell asleep. I should have known it was too good to be true and eventually we’d deal with what we are now. For about a month and a half bedtime has become the worst time of day. There was a 2 week period where he was even waking up every hour on the hour. That turned into 1-2 times a night. The hardest part is him going through the “I only want mommy for everything” phase. I know, I know… doctors and even friends say “just let him cry it out.” We fully admit that he is “playing us like a fiddle” (in the words of my mother-in-law) and are the biggest suckers on the planet. But selfishly, we need sleep. So I’d rather go against the rule book and rock him for 15 minutes, go into his room and sit there until he falls asleep or the WORST solution, let him sleep in the extra bedroom with me when I’m at my wits end. Most will call this “weak” or “a bad habit”. I call it survival. Last night we decided to let him cry it out because, “He has to concede at the hour mark”. An hour and a half later, the kid didn’t give up. Try having a “Come to Jesus” with a 2 year old – It doesn’t work. I normally don’t ask for a lot of advice when it comes to parenting but I am MORE than willing to hear some when it comes to this….

Now before I go any further I’m going to point out the obvious – I’m a COMPLETE brat. I’m currently not working, am basically a stay at home wife, my kid goes to daycare 5 days a week and we are blessed to have grandparents that are MORE than willing to take him if we need an afternoon, day, night, weekend off. And I know that “this too shall pass”.

I frequently tell my own mother that I feel like a “bad mom”. I had an idea of what motherhood would be like and when it wasn’t the Hallmark movie I pictured in my head, it was a huge wake-up call. I grew up with a stay at home mom and was a mommy’s girl. I wanted to be just like her – have kids and stay at home. I wanted girls who liked Barbie’s, playing dress up, shopping and getting Mani and Pedi’s (Side-Note: This changed when I was in the bathroom of the Blue Moose and 3 girls were in prom dresses that barely covered their illegal body parts, talking about “making out with their dates”. In that moment I prayed for boys). Being a parent is tough. It isn’t all puppies and rainbows. It completely changes your life. And quite frankly, isn’t for everyone. But what I’ve learned is that you don’t HAVE to be June Cleaver to be a good mom. You need to find out what works for you, your kid(s) and your own family.

On that note, I’m off to the Happy Harry’s penny sale to meet one of my best-friends from high school. She just had daughter #4. God bless her.